The Supportive Friend
by kingoftheolives
Summary: This wasn't made for/from a particular anime/manga, but it was made for any shoujo-ai/shonen-ai genre based story in which the main character is in love with the other sex, and the same sex "best friend" has feelings for the main character. This is about the struggle deep down inside the best friend's heart. The next stories will show the progress of their "relationship" .
1. The Supportive Friend

**To whom I'm writing this for, know that I loved you.**

Yes, I loved you, but now I'm suffering deep in my heart that you are happy with another.

I do not love you now or will I ever do again coz my heart can't endure any more pains from you.

I have cut all my ties with you, and yet I write this.

Hmmm let's just say that this a mere goodbye containing all my feelings for you.

No more and no less, but here you can find hints of my hopelessness.

I wish you can read this and understand, and yet I curse you to not read nor even know that I once had feelings for you.

My infatuation to you is something forbidden to this conservative world we live in.

I also know that my feelings will not be returned even if you knew.

I did my best to deny these feelings before, but it came back stronger.

I fought it, but with every strike I gave, my defense broke bit by bit.

Now I am defenseless to the pain your joy is giving me, and still I pray that you may be more joyful with that person.

I'd like to give you a kiss good bye, but even just a mere sight of you makes me suffer.

With each sight, I lose myself in envy, lust and greed to want you.

Every bit of you...

Let me kiss you for a first and that be our last.

A kiss that will constrict my heart with thorns.

No, no, no I can't!

I can't live my life with you in it, so let's cut ties.

Yes, that is the action of a coward, and I am one.

**If only you knew,**

**if only I could've shown it, **

**if only I was courageous,**

**if only I was honest.**

Our relationship in my part is only full of "If's"…

I must wake up from this day dream and live in our society's reality.

**Good bye,**

**and know that I loved you and gave up on you.**

…

…..

…..

…

..

.

**NO! **

**DON'T LEAVE ME!**

**I REFUSE TO WAKE UP!**

**ONE DAY YOU'LL KNOW,**

**ONE DAY YOU'LL BE MINE,**

**BUT TODAY I'LL PLAY THE SUPPORTIVE FRIEND FOR YOU.**

_-kingoftheolives_


	2. Confessions Of A Smile

You're beside me, crying on my shoulder.

Stuttering with your words, saying he broke your heart.

You saw him with another girl.

No wonder he hasn't been coming home lately.

I smile a little seeing that you now feel the same way I felt because of you

**WAIT, I'M SMILING?**

I mean, is this what friends normally do when their friend gets hurt?

Is this revenge?

Is this…

I don't know what I'm feeling.

The past few months with you by him, made me suffer.

I had to lie to myself,

I had to act as the supporting friend,

When deep inside I knew I loved you so dearly more than the act.

I don't know what I'm feeling.

Everything is messed up within me.

You twitch a little and turn towards my face.

NO, NO, NO YOU CAN'T SEE ME SMILING!

You can't!

You'll think of me as a creep, and of course by the way things are, I can't deny that.

You say my name with your weak voice

I tremble, afraid of you turning around

"Don't look" I say.

You stop turning as expected of a good girl…

MY GIRL…

YES YOU ARE MINE NOW…

MY OWN WITHOUT HIM IN IT…

I stroke your long hair and whisper in your ear,

"I can't show you my face right now"

You ask why

MUST I LIE?

SHOULD I TELL THE TRUTH?

GOD, THIS IS MY CHANCE TO CLAIM YOU

AS MINE

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

**A CONFESSION**

**OR**

**AN ACT**

**?**

There was a long silence

….

…

….

.

I answer,

"because I love you and am relieved you are not with him anymore"

"I'm happy that you are back to me"

"I know you are in pain, but right now, right here at this exact moment, I am….."

WHAT AM I SAYING?!

OH NO WHAT DID I JUST SAY

**"I am happy"**

….

…

…

.

She turns around and stares at my face.

I can see her eyes.

It's so red and so tired from crying.

WHAT KIND OF PERSON AM I?

THE PERSON I LOVE THE MOST IS IN PAIN AND HERE I AM ENJOYING MYSELF

I AM A MONSTER

NO, DON'T LOOK AT ME

PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME

**THE REAL ME…**

**A**

**SELFISH**

**MONSTER**

She caresses my face gently

Using her finger to draw the outline of my smile

**THE SMILE THAT THRIVES FROM HER SUFFERING**

She looks into my eyes

Those eyes I love

Filled with compassion and hope, but today were filled with tears

**"I miss your smile"** she said

BA-DUMP BA-DUMP BA-DUMP

Then added** "I'm sorry for causing you pain"**

Tears started to fall from eyes without me knowing it.

She hugs me and I cling to her like old times

Keeping her close

As if my body's telling her to never leave me again.

I break down,

And lose my consciousness…

Everything turns into black,

But even when I'm in this eternal abyss, I could still feel her warmth.

* * *

That night,

I slept well

For the first time since she went out with him.

**That night, I was sure everything was going to be fine.**

_**-**kingoftheolives_


End file.
